my friend's son was killed today.
he was 24.
fell asleep at the wheel and as she put it, "woke up in the presence of Jesus."
my heart breaks for her, i even feel the shock and the waves of disbelief that i know she is feeling.
yet a very selfish nasty part of me is so thankful it was her son and not mine.
WHERE DOES THAT COME FROM???
i don't want to ever be the one to get the phone call, the knock at the door...i'm so sorry for her in a deep, personal way...
but i hold off that tragedy at arm's length and in my human weakness, heave a sigh and say, "oh, i'm so glad that wasn't my boy!"
help me to enter in to the weeping the way you would, without being grateful.
it could have been my son. it could be my phone ringing.
and then... and then...
i would want someone to enter in to my sorrow, without being happy that THEY were spared.
oh, the shallowness of my human heart. i need more REAL (agape) love.
dearest friend, i weep for your tears. i'm so sorry. i have no platitudes, nothing but tears for you.
nothing but tears.
"weep with those that weep..."