Wednesday, August 2, 2023

summer of 2023

 Life sometimes throws us curveballs, surprises, unexpected twists and turns that make us shake our heads and think, "WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON?"

That's this summer. Without going into specifics, the past two months have been a rollercoaster of emotions and events- some good and some bad. We have the joy of having family live with us for an indefinite period of time, but for sad reasons. We've gotten up morning after morning waiting for good news and it's often bad. Fear and uncertainty sometimes cloud the days, and we go through the motions of life and meals and errands and jobs and trips and...stuff...not knowing what the future holds for our dear ones. It's hard. Hard to watch them be brave in the face of untold suffering. 

In the midst of it all, our Rock is Jesus. There are days when all I can do is say His name, over and over, sometimes quietly, sometimes with tears, and sometimes as a shout or a wail. What else is there? When the darkness comes, there is no other name. 

He is enough. In good times He's there. In hard times He's there. He is my favourite name of GOD, "Yahweh Shammah"... the God who is here. And there. Behind and before, under and above, beside and all around. Enfolding and holding and so very present. Closer than the air I breathe.

Jesus. Jesus. Precious Jesus. Yahweh Shammah. Here.




Thursday, May 18, 2023

Bella-Boo


 
Bella-Boo


It’s hard to lose a pet. We’ve lost one every year for the past 3 years. But the last one to cross the Rainbow Bridge was our little Bella, a silver-white mini Schnauzer. She died of old age, really, and we couldn’t bear to see her suffer- so we said goodbye last week. I cried hot tears as I stroked her curly head and looked deep into her little black eyes as she passed into eternity.


“You were such a good dog,” I whispered. “Such a good little dog.” 


And she was. I picked her up early on a bright Christmas morning in a land far away; she was our little daughter’s Christmas present that year. So tiny, so tough, so cute. We had twelve and a half wonderful years with her, and now she’s gone.


Oh, Bella-boo. You demanded nothing, unlike your many assorted packmates. All you ever wanted was a snuggle and a pat now and then, and you were content. I’ve never had a dog that was so settled, so happy, so grateful. You knew your place in the universe.


When we had a pack of 6 rambunctious beagles, you ruled the roost but caused no strife. You kept them in line. 


When “Beowulf,” the big Doberman came, you bossed him around and tolerated no foolishness. When he died suddenly, you felt his absence- no one to snuggle with at night on little girl’s bed.


When the Golden Retriever “Islay” was added to the family, you considered your options carefully and decided to leave well enough alone. We had only two years with her, and I’m not sure you were sad when “the tornado” was gone. 


When “Blessing” the bouncy Golden Aussie puppy turned our home upside down, you set firm boundaries and held them in place until you were too old and feeble to defend yourself against being a chew toy. And our troubled rescue dog “Rio” you completely ignored, until she sensed your weakness and began to growl at you.


The time had come to set you free.


Dear little Bella. In my heart of hearts, you were my favourite. You asked for so little. You were willing to be ignored, to be the wheel that didn’t squeak, to be overlooked and even neglected and still be happy and loving. 


I’m so glad we had you. I fully expect to see you in that land beyond this life, and I think you will be quietly sitting on the sidelines until someone mentions the word “walk”- at which point you will begin to shriek for joy, bouncing up and down on all fours. And your little eyes will snap and sparkle, and you will stretch out and run over the hills and valleys like a cheetah, keeping up with the bigger dogs and with the wind blowing your curls back from your face so your black eyes make you look like a stuffy!


You were always the watcher at the windows, setting the big dogs off on a massive barking spree, with your little shriek rising above their booming voices. You didn’t miss a movement of bird of squirrel or cat or human. You saw it all and “alarmed" the whole house. The pearly gates have an extra alarm system now!


I love you, little silver-haired girl. Around my neck on a chain there hangs a tiny silver schnauzer. I touch it and I remember the snuggles, the joy you brought, and the love we shared. Your fluffy pink bed still lays upstairs- I can’t quite bear to put it away just yet. I miss your little habits- the way you’d gently and politely put a tiny paw on my leg begging for cucumbers and apple pieces- the snuffle and snore as you lay beside me napping- your tiny claws clip-clipping on the floor…you were the sweetest of them all. 


Always remembered, little girl. Never forgotten. See you on the other side, Bella-boo! 





From the Archives...

I wrote this awhile ago...

aging 


skin turning slowly to parchment 

gentle wrinkles creeping creeping

vision narrowing on the peripheral

 stomach choosing circumspectly 

clandestine marking of stations of comfort

 chair     

rest room     

eating places 

The familiar safe things more necessary

welcoming the en-closing of life