Saturday, January 30, 2010


baby girl loves "ube" icecream. it's made from the flavor of a purple sweet potato...yummy! tastes better than it sounds. muffy loves the hammock. Baby Doo loves the loves loves building sand castles...sarah joy loves playing on the boat...

Thursday, January 28, 2010


if I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

emily dickinson

Monday, January 25, 2010

still waters

unless God has called you to be in the midst of an emergency, 24-7, you just can't do it.

in my varied life, i've spent decades in disaster mode. NO MORE.

there is a quiet place of mind, emotions, and being that is good to settle into. i do that. i still keep up on the news of disasters...i watch the news...i check on line...but, I DO NOT HAVE THE GRACE TO STAY THERE IN THE NEWS, because that is not where God has put me right now. i am not, bless his heart, ANDERSON COOPER.

God has put me in a quiet pasture, beside still waters. literally.

i am on a boat. i am on the water. there is nothing exciting going on around here. a little child playing. making meals. answering emails. going to the grocery store. walking, swimming, picking flowers.

waking to the sun and going to sleep to the stars.

that's the place i am right now.

and it's good. it's normal. i can't be where the action is. (used to be, but i think all my adrenaline got consumed.)

thank you, Shepherd Lord, for the quiet places, the still places, the normal everyday places.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


i feel like that often...especially now watching the news of our beloved Haiti.

i just want to be there, deep over my head in medical situations. i lived "MASH" for 15 years running our clinic here in the Philippines, and i miss it.

but this is not my role now. my role is to pray from the safety of my home, and to raise awareness. and to do it without chafing and fretting that i am no longer in the midst of all the action.

this devotional this morning helped me to settle down and realize that even Jesus spend most of his life doing ordinary things, waiting for his moment.

"Yeshua lived for thirty years amid the happenings of the little town of Nazareth. Little villages spell out their stories in small events. And He, the young Prince of glory, was in the carpenter's shop! He moved amid the humdrum tasks, petty cares, village gosspi, trifling trade, and He was faithful in that which was least.

If these smaller things of life afford such riches of opportunity for the finest Royalty, all of our lives are wonderfully wealthy in possibility and promise. Even though our house is furnished with commonplaces, it can be the home of the Lord all the days of our life."

Dr. J. H. Jowett
Springs in the Desert

Sunday, January 17, 2010

rescue- too little too late

these tiny blood-red roses i would have given to this little girl...had i been there. i would have placed them in her outstretched hands as she went to her grave too soon- needlessly.

i saw her face, dusty, drained, desperate. she was trapped under concrete and an iron bar. she screamed. cried. prayed. her family and friends were desperately digging to get her out of the rubble of the earthquake in Haiti.

they did get her out, but cut off her foot to do it. hours later, in between medical stations where she got no help, this little girl died screaming "mama, don't let me die!"

of all the things i've seen on the coverage of this disaster, this bothers me the most. the eyes of a child who knows she is dying are horrific.

God have mercy.

if you want to help Haiti, go to this blogspot and donate by commenting. For every comment, Hilda has a contact that will give $10 to Haitian relief.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

help for Haiti

this apparently is a blogspot where the woman has a connection to government funding, and $10 will be donated to haiti help for every comment left on any post. worth a shot.

my heart is breaking over and over. especially this morning, to hear that friends of ours had just flown in to Haiti, were on their way to the hotel, and a wall fell on the car. the driver was killed and our friends were injured. they somehow got into the Dominican Republic and are receiving medical care. They were supposed to attend a large convention - which, if it had pushed through, would have no doubt meant thousands of people in the convention center would have been injured or killed.

God have mercy. God have mercy.

The eyes of the little girl whose foot was trapped and they cut her out yesterday, but she died within hours due to lack of medical care, haunt me. The eyes of a dying human being are like nothing else in the world.

God have mercy. God have mercy.

Sunday, January 10, 2010


breath in
breath out

his name a rush of wind
in my lungs

blood drumming in my ears

a silent closet
within my mind

door shut
eye-gate closed
and a throne
in my inner seeing

a bleating white lamb

a golden high king

breath in
breath out

just him- and me-

Thursday, January 7, 2010

written after a night on serendipity

the wind flattens me
on the wooden curve
of the boat
pressing its wild fingers
on the rolled up blanketed watcher-
that is me-

i'm watching
the close sky
full of stars

moon's face so near-
comic crinkles
in his grin-
his silver mouth spewing diamonds
along the water
like the sun is not

familiar points of light
wink and beckon
the watcher-
that is me-
only hungry eyes peeping through
my blanket

too cold

too near

too beautiful

but the constellations
bend and call
and i'm lovestruck
while hour by long hour
orion chases
across the black-
until he fades
at the wounding paleness
of dawn

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

a song...

i wrote this song for someone's wedding a long time ago...i've forgotten the tune but the lyrics are quite good...makes me think of my sweet husband...

Sometimes it takes awhile to see
What’s right in front of me
All the beauty created by your hand
And it’s just like an open book
That I can’t seem to look
And discover how it came to be

So I gaze at the wonder of someone who loves me
And thank you Lord for sending them to me
Cuz your ways are good
I just need to stand
And remember that You love me

Sometimes it’s hard to understand
That you must have a plan
All my life is written before time
So help me Lord to take your hand
And trust you every time
And follow with my heart, not my mind

Sometimes I forget
Your love will never end
So I fail to trust your wisdom and your love
But I know you are watching from above….

So I gaze at the wonder
Of someone who loves me
And thank you Lord for sending them to me
Cuz your ways are good
I just need to stand
And remember that you love me
…and remember that You’ll always love me…

Saturday, January 2, 2010

3 easy steps to peace in 2010:

* stop making New Year's Resolutions.

* think on this a moment: "I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse." (Philip Yancey.)

* think of all the beautiful things this year that YOU DID without ever resolving to do them.





he invented it.


Friday, January 1, 2010

a new year comes once in a blue moon...

it was a blue moon. rare. lovely. softly sliding up the sky as the old year passed away and the moments moved silently on the clock.

what is it about a new year that is so special?

dennis and i, after a delicious pizza dinner, were eating pistachios and drinking chamomile tea sitting on our little boat, the fresh evening breeze cooling the remnants of the hot day and the water a mirror for the lights. we talked softly, laughed even more softly, remembered and "futured" and listened to our baby sleeping below deck...

beautiful evening. spoiled- even the loveliest of moments have a dark side, because we are in a dark world- by the foul storming of our drunken neighbor. we blocked out the ugliness and focused on the beauty of the blue moon. prayed for our wounded neighbor.

welcome, new year. i choose to be hopeful. i choose to relinquish all that was painful, hard, and dark last year. begin again.

a prayer for this new year:

How often, when everything else fails us, do we yearn for YOU, our MIGHTY CREATOR. In the stillness of the night, in the press of the crowd, in the agony of inner conflict, we bow our heads, and at that moment, YOU are in our hearts and we are at peace.

We do not know, O MERCIFUL LORD, whether the gifts for which we ask are for our good, whether our trials and tribulations may not be blessings in disguise, whether even the fragments of our shattered hopes and dreams may not minister to the up-building of other lives and the fulfillment of YOUR unfathomable plan. So we do not pray that YOU make our lives easy, to give us happiness without adversity. Rather we pray that YOU continue to help us to be uncomplaining and unafraid. Teach us to face life with faith and courage that we may see the blessings hidden away even in its conflicts and struggles. Help us to find victory in the discipline of pain transforming all things into loving obedience. May we seek the face of GOD because HE is GOD.

May we realize that life calls us, not merely to enjoy the fatness of the earth, but to rejoice in heights attained after the toil of climbing. Then, our darkness will be illumined by YOUR GLORIOUS LIGHT and our weakness made strong by YOUR strength, lifting us above fear and defeat, and sustaining our steps with an immortal hope.

The ALMIGHTY ONE is HOPE to them that wait for HIM, JOY to the Land of Israel, and GLADNESS to the City of Jerusalem; and a FLOURISHING HORN to HIS servants. The SON OF JESSE, HIS ANOINTED is a CLEAR SHINING LIGHT to those who fear HIM. O, give glory and praise to the LORD GOD OMNIPOTENT!