i am a week away from my 41st wedding anniversary, and a few more days away from my 60th birthday.
mixed emotions. but i can tell you there will be no black color schemes.
excitement at being 60! what a landmark year this shall be! i decree it.
on the outside, i am a slightly overweight, slightly graying little short woman, with a bit of a hunch, lots of wrinkles creeping creeping, and a wardrobe that needs help.
on the inside, i am a fiery, passionate person who loves books, music, writing, and my family. i have a sense of adventure- there are so many things i still want to do- but i know realistically most of them are never going to happen.
a conflict there.
i can no longer do what i want to do.
my body just won't cooperate.
i can no longer travel easily due to back problems...i'm so much better than i was, but i need my OWN BED and my OWN PILLOW.
i can't sail anymore- used to be able to hold the tiller and wrestle that boat against the waves...elbows and wrists and shoulders no longer tolerate that kind of abuse.
i can't even play piano as i used to, although i'm improving...wore wrist braces for 2 years due to tendonitis from OVERPLAYING for so many years. but i am beginning tentatively to play again, during my little one's "music class" of our homeschooling program.
the good news is: there are many things i can still do.
i can cook. i can bake. i can create food out of weird things and almost nothing.
i can homeschool my little 4-year-old with much more patience and wisdom and creativity than i had 20 years ago.
i can wait more patiently for life to unfold and for things to resolve, rather than fretting and rushing in like the proverbial fool where angels fear to tread.
i can hold my tongue. sometimes. (what i mean is- to not say anything when i really WANT to)
i can dream in color- of what the future holds and above all, what ETERNITY holds. i've asked God for so many things in eternity- more chances to do some of the things i've never accomplished.
i can love my dear husband with grace and forgiveness and generosity . i'm not the impatient, demanding control freak i used to be. WELL OK, I'M BETTER.
i can love myself- i can look in the mirror and love the face and the body that have served me so well over the past 3/5ths of a century.
life at 60 is full of options. i probably have another 30 years to live, given the fantastic medical help available now and the fact that most of my family is long-lived.
in that 30 years, give or take, i have plans to do a lot of stuff. i'm grateful for the many blessings of this stage of life, these autumn years.
i'm excited about the future. i am me, and i am entering autumn, and it is good.
autumn is a glowing, bountiful, fruitful season...and as one prepares for the quiet stillness of winter, the peace and beauty of the fall season brings with it a ripeness, a gentleness, a glory that i look forward to.
here's to 60!!!!!!!