If thou couldst empty all thyself
of self,
Like to a shell dishabited,
Then might He find thee
on the Ocean shelf,
And say — "This is not dead," —
And fill thee with Himself instead.
But thou art all replete
with very thou,
And hast such shrewd activity,
That, when He comes, He says — "This is enow
Unto itself — 'Twere better let it be:
It is so small and full, there is no room for Me."

Sir Thomas Browne

remember this old gaither song?

My older children were just little when this song came out...back in the 70's i guess it was. i remember crying as i listened, and making the decision to really take care of each moment...and make the memories that i wanted to have forever.

(sometimes they don't just happen- you have to make them. )

Hold tight to the sound of the music of living,
Happy songs from the laughter of children at play;
Hold my hand as we run through the sweet fragrant meadows,
Making mem’ries of what was today.

Tiny voice that I hear is my little girl calling
For daddy to hear just what she has to say;
And my little son running there by the hillside
May never be quite like today.

Tender words, gentle touch, and a good cup of coffee,
And someone that loves me and wants me to stay;
Hold them near while they’re here,
and don’t wait for tomorrow
To look back and wish for today.

Take the blue of the sky and the green of the forest
And the gold and the brown of the freshly mown hay,
Add the pale shades of spring and the circus of autumn,
And weave you a lovely today.

For we have this moment to hold in our hands
And to touch as it slips through our fingers like sand;
Yesterday’s gone, and tomorrow may never come,
But we have this moment-today!
-gaithers

one of my favorite poems

He said, "Wilt thou go with Me
Where shadows eclipse the light?"
And she answered "My Lord, I will follow Thee
Far, under the stars at night."
But He said, "No starlight pierces the gloom
Of the valley thy feet must tread;
But it leads thee on to a cross and a tomb-"
"But I go with Thee," she said.

"Count the cost; canst thou pay the price-
Be a dumb thing led;
Laid on an altar of sacrifice?"
"Bind me there, my Lord," she said.
"Bind me that I may not fail-
Or hold with Thy wounded hand;
For I fear the knife and the piercing nail,
And I shrink from the burning brand.
Yet whither Thou goest, I will go,
Though the way be long and dread-"
His voice was tender, and sweet, and low-
"Thou shalt go with Me," He said.

And none knew the anguish sore
Or the night of the way she came;
Alone, alone with the cross she bore,
Alone in her grief and shame.
Brought to the altar of sacrifice,
There as a dumb thing slain;
Was the guerdon more than the bitter price?
Was it worth the loss and pain?

Ask the seed-corn, when the grain
Ripples its ripened gold;
Ask the sower when, after toil and pain,
He garners the hundred-fold.
HE said (and His voice was glad and sweet);
"Was it worth the cost, My own?"
And she answered, low at His pierced feet,
"I found at the end of the pathway lone
NOT DEATH, BUT LIFE ON A THRONE!"

-Annie Clarke

monday monday

be good to me.....





this is my eyeball. healthy and normal. yes, i do need glasses, but my eye is essentially ok, just nearsighted. thank you God for my eyes.

healing coming...

all day long, waiting for news of baby lex, texting, phoning, praying..."he's vomiting...his feet are swollen...his organs are shutting down...they want to put in an NGT (nasogastric tube for feeding directly into his stomach)...he's crying constantly but he's lost his voice..." oh, my heart was in my throat so many times.

suddenly, at 7, a call from charity as she left the hospital. "mom, he looks great! the swelling is gone, and he just drank 4 ounces of milk! i think he's gonna make it!"

oh the joy. Jesus, thank You that healing is coming for Baby Lex. He's gonna make it. thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!

he had just begun to smile...

my daughter charity rescued a dying baby, "lexus", from a very depressed area of manila two weeks ago. he was 6 pounds and is 6 months old. constant nursing and feeding and loving and sleepless nights by the caregivers brought lex to the point where he felt well enough to smile...a tentative, darling little smile.

suddenly, respiratory distress...he couldn't breathe...charity rushed him to a hospital where they take "charity" cases. how fitting.

lex is fighting for his life. on iv antibiotics. some signs of heart issues. up and down, every hour an unknown.

little boy, i pray you make it. the world wouldn't be the same without that smile!
*****
lex lived. his forever family found him, and he now is living in australia with them, growing tall and strong.

breakfast on serendipity

left to right: emma, sarah joy, julio, catherine, merry faye, elijah, pedro.

a lovely nutritious fruit loops breakfast! ^_^

worship time....i could get lost in this song for eternity...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhL5SDwp88c&NR=1

the eyes have it...

this was emma at her third birthday party almost a month ago...she takes life very seriously! contemplating her future and a little embarrassed at all the loud singing just for her...so sweet.

sweetbrier rose

Beside my cottage door it grows,
The loveliest, daintiest thing that blows,
A sweetbrier rose.

At dewy morn or twilight's close,
The rarest perfume from it flows,
This strange wild rose.


But when the raindrops on it beat,
Ah, then, its odors grow more sweet
About my feet.

Often with loving tenderness
Its soft green leaves I gently press
In sweet caress.

A still more wondrous fragrance flows
The more my loving fingers close
And crush the rose.

Dear Lord, oh, let my life be so,
Its perfume when the strong winds blow,
The sweeter flow.

And should it be Your blessed will,
With crushing grief my soul to fill,
Press harder still.

And while its dying fragrance flows
I'll whisper low, "He loves and knows
His crushed brier rose."


(author unknown, from Streams in the Desert)

first day of school for Emma

she's not too sure of herself this morning...not used to getting up early and getting dressed right away...(neither is mommy!)...so her little face is serious and not very enthusiastic.


she is almost the smallest and youngest in her class. most of the other kids are 4-ish, some even look like 5. i'm wondering if i did the right thing by enrolling her...but we'll wait and see how it goes.




even the playground didn't seem too much fun! she was a bit overwhelmed by it all.

dear little girl. am i pushing you too fast? just let me know, ok...school at this point is a luxury, not a necessity. ^)^

my baby girl 3 years ago

i forgot the date...our 22rd anniversary of arriving in the Philippines...

22 years ago last July 7th, our little family left the security of our Canadian homeland and flew off into the wide blue yonder toward a tiny tropical island nation, the Philippines. We had burned all our bridges, packed up our four kids, and headed into the unknown.

We had no job description awaiting us, no friends, no home, nothing. Only our suitcases packed with clothes, toys, books, and hearts full hopes. The tears we shed at the leave-taking and on the flights dried and we arrived excited, exhausted, and running on adrenaline.

Looking back, I would not recommend doing that. Looking back,I see that we had more energy and enthusiasm than wisdom. We were completely unprepared for anything in missions...the culture shock, the interpersonal difficulties of working within a mission, the food, the language barrier, the political upheaval of a nation in turmoil...we had no frame of reference for anything, and no one had told us anything in advance.

How we survived the first two years, I'm not sure. We cried a lot. We prayed. We rejoiced at every little opportunity that came our way. We embraced the Filipinos that we met and began learning the language, the first missionaries in our denomination to do so. So many lonely times, our children crying for familiar food and the friends they had left behind. We absorbed the pain of misunderstanding of fellow missionaries and the alienation we felt. Little by little, it became- not easy, but less difficult.

Twenty-two years is a long time. Two plus decades. Four children raised and grown and gone. Another new one adopted and started on the road to a wonderful life. Ministries started, grown, and turned over to others. We have learned to think in another language. We've become Asian in so many ways... western culture is not so familiar now. We've been so tired...we have thrown ourselves into this life and pushed so hard...gone in so many different directions...we are sometimes worn out. At least I am.

I feel a sense of great accomplishment, though. It feels like for however long we remain here, It's bonus time. It's the icing on the cake. Life is easier now...a new job for Dad, retirement for me, Emma to raise, grandchildren to entertain, and a bright future to look forward to.

So, my dear children, on that very special day, July 7th, i hope that you all had happy memories of our trip here...and I hope that God was merciful enough to put a bit of a rosy glow on the life you lived in Asia, if only for that day.

"...lest you dash your foot against a stone..."

last week i took the kids to a place beach-side where huge rocks and cement sea-breakers lie in jumbled piles along the edge of the water. it looked like a wonderful place to explore and find crabs. what an adventure it turned out to be!

after about an hour of futile crab-hunting, the bigger kids had wandered so far along the beach that the 3 little ones and i could no longer see them, so we got in the van and drove along to where i thought they were. a huge cement wall separated the road from the rocks at that point, so i couldn't see them. i started calling and whistling. along came a police car.

"are you looking for someone, ma'am?"

"yes, sir, my kids are on the rocks looking for crabs."

"but ma'am, that's a restricted area and those rocks are full of cobras."

silence. a cry to God for peace and calmness.

"well, officer, i can't climb up on that barrier, would you mind calling them for me?"

so he jumped up on the wall and began blowing his whistle and shouting for the kids. they came, white-faced and quiet...they all thought i would be mad...but as they piled into the van i said, from the bottom of my heart, "now i see why we pray before every adventure..."

"he shall give his angels charge over you, to guard you in all your ways, lest you dash your foot against a stone..."

"...i give you power over serpents and scorpions...and nothing shall by any means hurt you..."